stormyheart: (underwater dance)
This isn't targeted at anyone on my friends list, as most people I am close with know this already.  But I need to vent because I have been running into this frequently of late, as recently as this morning, and it is really getting to me right now.

Dear world:

I know I sometimes need to walk with a cane, or limp, or am very tired/in pain.  That does not make me any less capable of making decisions about what I am and am not capable of doing, or about how I want to manage my health.  If I need help, I will ask for it.  Otherwise please kindly leave very well the fuck alone.

Don't force your need to be "helpful" onto me when I have not expressed a need for help.  (And for clarification, joking about my pain/tiredness/weakness is not asking for help.  Self-deprecating humor helps me cope.)  Stop making this about you.  My health concerns are mine, and mine alone.

And when I say I don't want or need help, when I say I am fine - back the fuck off.  Do not repeatedly ask me if I am okay, if I need help, etc. because I already told you that I'm fine.

No love,
me

Ow.

May. 3rd, 2007 03:21 pm
stormyheart: (Default)
OM MY GOD I wish it would just rain already!!!

Sick day

Sep. 26th, 2006 06:33 pm
stormyheart: (a job for...)
I called in sick today. I started having a fibro flare that manifesting as full-body nerve pain yesterday. Actually, it's more like nerve overstimulation that feels partly like pain, and partly like an uncomfortable vibrating of my nerve endings. If that makes any sense. I felt decent enough when I went to sleep, but I woke up in the middle of the night because this pain was about 5 times worse. Fortunately that only lasted about 10 minutes before subsiding enough to let me sleep again. This type of pain is pretty rare for me - I usually only get nerve pain maybe a few times a year, and it doesn't usually last more than a day. But when I get it...ugh. And unfortunately, nothing I can take or do makes it better. Moving hurts. Not moving hurts. It SUCKS.

To those of my friend with fibro - do you guys get this kind of pain, the same or similar to how I described it? Any advice for dealing with it?

So when I woke up this morning with the same pain as yesterday, I couldn't take another day at work with this pain. I decided to rest all day, and take care of myself. And hope it goes away by tomorrow.

I finally have health insurance (YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) so I really have to see a doctor and get my fibro/sleep under control. First I have to FIND a good doctor around here, preferably one who understands holistic medicine, since my current doctor is out-of-network and in PA.

While laying about today, I watched an episode of Globe Trekker. This show is great, I love watching it. I'd love to travel all around the world the way they do - on the fly, not spending a great deal of money, avoiding alot of the "tourist" stuff and instead experiencing other cultures on a more personal level...but right now I have neither the time nor money, nor my health under control, to really do any traveling. So I watch this show instead, and live vicariously through its traveling hosts.

I'll have 3 weeks of vacation time accumulated by the end of next year...maybe by then I'll have saved up enough money to scratch my travel itch a bit. Maybe no trip to an exotic locale like Greece, but perhaps hike some of the Appalachian trail, or go back to Bamfield for a long weekend, or take a roadtrip somewhere with some friends?

B just got home and had a brilliant idea - order pizza for dinner. Considering I don't really have anything in the house for dinner other than fish sticks and leftover soup from lunch, and I don't have the energy to cook, I'm digging the pizza idea. Mmm. Guess I should go rustle up some cash.

Later darlings!

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stormyheart

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